Tuesday, November 30, 2010

my moms new food processor(Cuisinart DLC-10S Pro Classic): in review


yesterday, as i was feverishly cooking soup in the kitchen, i decided i wanted a creamy soup rather than chunky. i debated between using the blender and the old food processor to get the job done, but upon learning that there was in fact a brand "spanking" new one waiting restlessly inside the cupboard i curiously reached for it. purchased at macys recent "black friday" sale, it was shiny, white, and childproof (you have to put the part that sticks into the little hole in top in place even if you don't want to to make it work), and the base of this machine weighed in at an annoyingly estimated twelve pounds. it received the immensely hot soup quite well in its 7 cup capacity plastic body. the blade, however, did not fall correctly into place and caused my soup the shame of some leakage, and required me to put my delicate fingers into the still very hot soup to fix it. pushing the pulse button, i blended vigourously for less than a minute before satisfied with the outcome. wonderfully creamy, steamy, and not a chunk left un-chunked. not to mention how delectable my portabello/sweet potato soup turned out. if you don't mind some heavy lifting and want to deal with the problem of having to wash a bunch of different tiny components after use, this food processor is for you. two out of five happy houswives.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

My neighbors party: a review


Last night during a seance, lindsey and I heard loud music coming from a house near by. We decided to join in the festivities. So we finished our drinks and refilled them and headed over. We were immediately disappointed, when we snuck in the gate, that no one was dancing at this poorly djed party. We started suspiciously dancing in the back. We received awkward stares and were finally approached by the host. It was her deployment party and it sucked. What a terrible way to spend your last day as a free laday. However we quickly located the alcohol and began helping ourselves. The only thing that this party had to offer was nice mood lighting( a series of xmas lights coming to a point above the drive). The dj was playing terrible songs that were near impossible to dance to and the guests were already unwilling to dance. In between songs I plugged in my ipod and played "You can call me al." There wasn't a paul simon fan in the house. Finally we were kicked out for having too much fun and drinking all the rum. A stinky party for stinky people, but I'll take my memories. one out of thirty wasted nights of november.


Friday, November 26, 2010

Virtual Girl: Reviewed


A few months ago I stumbled upon(not using the recently popular website) an interesting screen saver type program. It is called virtual girl and it features scantily clad babes dancing in the corner of your computer screen. I thought it was the perfect addition to my computer and i wondered why it wasn't pre-installed on it when i bought it. The girls featured are dressed in leopard print clothes, leather, big shades and the like. The free version features a few girls and more download automatically each day. They also remain clothed unless you upgrade to premium. To my liking the girls change after 30 seconds and remain in view at all times pleasantly distracting you from what ever your doing. If it wasn't for this program there actually would be one dick per day. This saved my screen from a boring existence, 4 out of 5 sexy poses.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Carlo Rossi Jugged Sangria: a Review



For the passed five nights I have been purchasing and consuming Carlo Rossi Jug wine. Its a quantity AND quality scenario. Its fruit flavor is tremendous and it is sweet nectar for my awful life. It is the midnight fuel I need to function in this crazy world. Slowly sipping sangria and eating a pomegranate in a white shirt is a slight step away from heaven. With purple teeth, red lips, and a stained shirt I have been laughing my days away. I have even been given the nick name "Big Jug" by my peers. I will definitely purchase this product many more times especially on holiday occasions(even ones I don't celebrate). This beverage is 98% angel 2% devil and 100% delicious. 5 out of 5 annoyed friends. 0 out of 5 bad nights. 3 out of 5 hangovers the next day.



Sunday, November 14, 2010

Cory and KC's wolf puzzle: a review
















Tonight after a busy day i was looking to wind down a little bit, maybe enjoy my night merrymaking and doing generally
interesting things with my friends. To my great disappointment we did a puzzle. Though at first i was willing, and maybe even mildly entertained by the idea it proved to be too much fuss for too little pay off. I guess the up side of the puzzle is the design, 5 mysterious wolves in their natural snowy mountain habitat, but they camouflage well in a color scheme already lacking diversity making it difficult to distinguish anything in this 500 piece enigma (actual piece count coming in at 508). In conclusion, I'd howl with this wolf pack for 2 full moons of 5.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Cory's Computer: a review

Today I started writing a review of two and half men, and never finished... I was typing on Cory's computer, which seemed to be fine and easy to use at first until i left for a few moments and it fell asleep. I couldn't figure out how to turn it on or wake it up though it was humming and making noises, I gave up and forgot about it completely and then it turned on again, my brilliant critique on Charlie Sheen and his gang gone, forever. Even now its giving me trouble with the pad and mouse accessory being so sensitive that i accidentally rub against it and I find myself typing in the middle of a previous sentence. Also the internet goes in and out. This PC's windows are closed for business. In honor of Charlie Sheen's loss, this computer gets only one and a half men out of two and a half men.